[dance with my father (luther vandross)]

This is a repost from my friendster blog "shades of peach". It's a tribute of sorts to my late dad, JOHNNY BAUTISTA. I told my hubby that its just so sad that dad's no longer around to see all his apos (grandchildren) all grown up, live in our new house and see the life I'm living now with my own family. And probably, mommy would be less lonely since life has never been the same for her without my dad...

I LOVE YOU, DAD! Thanks for all the love & sacrifices, though most of the times you hardly showed it. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! a big hug to you & to the BIG MAN up there with you.

dance with my father (luther vandross)

december 4, 2005 by shades-of-peach

back when i was a child, before life removed all the innocence

my father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me

and then spin me around ’til i fell asleep

then up the stairs he would carry me

and i knew for sure i was loved

chorus: if i could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him

i’d play a song that would never, ever end

how i’d love, love, love

to dance with my father again

when i and my mother would disagree

to get my way, i would run from her to him

he’d make me laugh just to comfort me

then finally make me do just what my mama said

later that night when i was asleep

he left a dollar under my sheet

never dreamed that he would be gone from me

chorus: if i could steal another glance, one final step, one final dance with him
i’d play a song that would never, ever end

’cause i’d love, love, love
 to dance with my father again.
 

sometimes i’d listen outside her door
 and i hear how my mother cried for him
 i pray for her even more than me

i know i’m praying for much too much
 but could you send back the only man she loved
i know you don’t do it usually
but dear Lord she’s dying

to dance with my father again
every night i fall asleep and this is all i ever dream

I was listening to this song one night and it is with so much sadness that I remembered my late dad. It’s been five years since he left us after battling prostate cancer. My dad was the mild-mannered, kind-hearted father who was not into displays of affection but showed his love anyway by working hard to give us a good life and send us to the best schools. Because he never wanted to become an absentee father to his kids, he had to forego opportunities to work overseas but managed to work doubly hard just the same for our future. He was a worry-wart but somehow he balanced it with his good sense of humor. He was intelligent, having graduated summa-cum-laude in college. He had a good command of english, can turn simple letters into something extra-ordinary. He had wanted to be a journalist but was discouraged by his parents, and so, just made do with being a teacher. But he was able to make full use of his love for writing when he worked at a law firm. His boss had so much confidence in him that he was tasked to prepare all those legal papers, including correspondences, despite the fact that he was not even a lawyer! My dad was so much loved by everyone-family, friends and colleagues alike, and this we found out when many people visited him at home when he was seriously ill and during his wake.

It is true what they say that you can only know the value of a person when he is no longer around. I miss him so much especially when I am going through difficult times myself. I may have made mistakes in my personal life since he died, but I know that he would still be proud of me knowing that I've been strong, exerted best efforts to make things right even if it entailed a lot of sacrifices on my part. Many times, I would dream of him talking to me but always having that serene countenance. This alone comforts me that despite his untimely death, I know that he is in a much better place in heaven…