[NEVER look away]

A distraught father had to rush to his hometown because of a family crisis: his son, 18 years young, took his own life & was found dead at home. This came as a shock especially to the father since the last time he got in touch with his son was just days before & he wasn't aware of anything that might have bothered him.

The father is someone that hubby & I personally know. He is an engineer based in Manila while his family is in the province somewhere in the Visayas. His wife, as far as I know, stayed at home. So, what went wrong? I suppose the boy was in a serious dilemma but either his parents were too busy to notice or care about it or the boy just wasn't close to his parents, enough to confide in them.

This comes to mind a recent heart-to-heart talk with a daughter. I found her in tears & asked her why. She then poured her heart out about the concerns that have been stressing her out. I began to cry myself affected by what she's been going through, something that I wasn't even aware of all this time I was with her. I thought it best that my hubby join me in the talk so I led her to where her dad was. She then told us how the pressures of schoolwork have gotten into her. We then told her to go easy on herself & just  do  things as they come. She has so many fears & insecurities but we reminded her of how she was able to surpass all the difficulties she faced before because of prayers & hard work. After our talk, we saw & felt how comforted she became after she unburdened her problems to us. What if she found no one to turn to & confide in? Or she found someone but ill-advised her?

This is one of the many reasons why I opted to stop working & stay home with my girls. I once read that one never stops being a parent. For me, the early childhood years & teen years are most crucial because of brain & behavioral developments & more so, for the latter because of peer pressure, among other issues. Although, I am hats-off to those who are able to juggle work & family, I think there will really come a time for any parent, a mother most especially, who will choose to be with her children & raise them herself rather than regret the lost time spent with them & see her children all-messed up in their lives. 

In the years that I have been with my girls, I have felt our closeness. They are comfortable telling us almost anything. In fact, until now, they are sleeping with us in our room. My husband once quipped, "hangga't di nag-aasawa yang mga yan, tanggapin  na natin na roommates na natin sila. Sayang talaga yung pinagawa kong mga kwarto nila. Pa-upa na lang kaya natin..." (As long as they are not yet married, let us just accept the fact that they will still be our roommates for a number of years to come. I think we're better off renting out  their rooms, building them felt like a waste of money & time...) Of course, he was just kidding... ;)

After knowing about that suicide incident, all the more Julius & I resolved that we would continue to be hands-on in raising our girls in the best way possible. We would never put off listening to them every time, no matter how busy we become. We would NEVER look away & dismiss any concerns they may have though how trivial they seem to be.  Better to do it the right way, make some sacrifices than be sorry & live with regrets. After all, the girls, for us, are more important.

To know more about teen depression & other parenting tips on raising teens, going here might help.


  1. such sad news about that young boy who took his life :( the saddest part is that his parents had no idea what he was going through.

    your kids are truly blessed that you get to stay home and really spend time with them. i'm glad you got to do that heart to heart talk with your daughter. When Tala is all grown up, I hope that she would open up to me whatever it is that's in her mind too.

    1. yes, truly blessed, aimee. pero misconception ang pagiging SAHM. sbi nila, mga can-afford lang daw ang SAHM's kse nga living on 1 income pero kaya ang "luho". it all depends. adjust to 1 income, make sacrifices to be able to look after your children. i struggled din for many years, lalo na when i dont have a maid. nagsself-pity ako kse parang i ended up at home lang, without a successful professional career. but i got over the insecurities lalo na when my daughters are growing up ok. i set aside my personal dreams kse nga i dont want my girls to make bad decisions that are costly later in life, alam mo na...

      you can also do it with TALA lalo na girl sya. communication lang, maging cool mom but with limits. pero as of now, enjoy mo lang yang career mo. sayang ang galing...;)

  2. If i have a choice i, too would stay at home with my son.. But beng a single parent is hard. I had to go overseas to work and provide for him. You are lucky you have this choice...

    1. i feel for you & admire you at the same time. pero i know, you'll get your "reward" for making these sacrifices para sa anak mo. work hard but keep the communication lines open for him. pray also for guidance & protection for your kid while you are away. sana, you'll also be given the chance to go into business na lang so you can stay with your son, plus a loving , supportive partner in the future, as bonus... ;)

      i will pray for you. thanks for your comment!=)

  3. Hi Peachy,
    Your reply alone to Aimee made me a bit teary eyed.
    When I decided to be a SAHM, ang daming kumontra. I received so many negative comments - from family pa. Isa jan yun living in one income plus all the luho makes us can afford everything "daw". Ang hindi nila alam, we had to make adjustments. Shempre, the luho has to be set aside first.
    As a mom, yes, we can always park our dreams first. Our children won't be forever young. Ikaw na ang idol ko!

    1. PS.
      My hubby also wanted us to co-sleep with Akira till she grows old... or hanggang mag-asawa siya. Yun nga lng, ang hirap patigilin magdede kasi we co-sleep. So, when I asked the hubby for his support in my decision to stop breastfeeding her at the age of 3, ang sagot ba naman, "Pag hindi na ntin siya katabi matulog, matututo din yan magstop". Kaloka. Isang malaking goodluck sakin, diba? :)

    2. exactly my thoughts, Em. lagi nila akong tinatawag na "donya" kse nga daw kaya nmin mabuhay kahit di ako mag work. what they dont know, i am just living within our means. besides, i am just lucky to be married to a generous, loving guy who gives me money to splurge on myself once in a while because "reward" ko daw yun for all the sacrifices i made for the family.

      continue co-sleeping with akira. it strengthens the mother-child bond. pag malaki na sya, mamimiss mo rin na kasama sya. pero i doubt if she will prefer her friends over her mom who she will always remember as someone who really took care of her while growing up.;)


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